What a difference a machine makes! I can't believe it but I made this dress in half an hour! That's crazy! Granted, it is as simple as can be, but it is still something I could never have done by hand.
Not that this is much of a tutorial (no pictures of the process or anything) but here is all I did:
 measure from desired hemline to hip - 33" for me
 measure from hip to underbust - 13" for me
 measure desired ease at hemline
 measure hips, plus however many inches of ease you want - I went with 45"
 measure bust- 40" for me
 fold fabric in half legthwise and then half again the same
 mark at 1/4 of hemline measurement going across the width (should be the narrow side of your fabric)
 measure your hemline to hip distance up from that (along the long side of your fabric)
 mark 1/4 your hip + ease measurement along the width
 measure your hip to underbust up from there
 mark 1/4 of your bust measurement along the width from there
 repeat the same measurement however many inches up for your overbust
 cut out, creating a-lines between the measurements
 sew in along the length of each side
 measure out and cut elastic for both your underbust and overbust
 sew your underbust measured elastic along the underbust line of your dress, stretching the elastic as you go
 repeat at the neckline of the dress with your overbust measured elastic, but this time folding the edge of the fabric back over the elastic creating a bit of a casing for it
 voila! you are done
I will probably go back and add in some straps simply because strapless anything isn't kind to girls with larger chests.